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Old magazines

Very funny - I was just reading through the Jezebel blog, about celebrity and fashion, and found a long, delicious post about In Fashion magazine, where I worked from 1991 to 1993 as the managing editor and, for about six months, as executive editor when I was in my early 20s.

The conceit of In Fashion was that it was "for men and women," and so there had to be a man and a woman on the cover. For the editors, this was a nightmare: we had to choose and book two B-list stars to be in NYC or LA at the same time and to get them to look hot and bothered together on a magazine cover.

For one cover, we booked Tia Carrere and Jon Bon Jovi, but the photos were a disaster. Tia Carrere was newly married and when she arrived at the studio in LA, conveyed that her husband was the jealous type. So she insisted on wearing a serious bra - eliminating many of the trashy, sexy clothes chosen for the cover shot - and she prominently displayed her wedding-ringed hand in every photo. We had to scrap that cover and shoot another at the last minute, but I did get to interview Bon Jovi and went to one of his concerts.

There are other funny stories from the pages in that Jezebel post, too. I worked on two issues they show: the one with John Corbett and MTV's Karen Duffy on the cover, and the one with rocker Nuno Bettencourt and Vanessa Paradis.

John Corbett was stale from Northern Exposure at that stage, and I think we booked him because the exec editor thought he was cute; I think Duff happened to be available.

I was the executive editor for the Nuno/Vanessa issue; I'd never heard of Nuno before but his band, Extreme, had a hit called "More Than Words."


When I interviewed him, I was particularly pleased that I'd asked him if he had a snake - which he did. Ah, the uselessness of celebrity journalism and wasted intuition.

In Fashion - good times!

Age of achievement

I'm turning 41 tomorrow. To celebrate, I'm making gingerbread cookies for Lucinda's winter concert, making a pasta dish for Arno's class holiday party, having a playdate with Arno at a friend's house, and taking the kids ice skating. Then we'll go home, have an early Christmas present-opening, eat a birthday dinner, and pack to go Bali.

I should add here that I've also recently pitched some stories to magazine editors; my sumo story for KIE reminded me how much I like writing as well as editing. But it's true, and I'm only sometimes regretful, that my life in Japan has much more to do with domestic work than with professional work.

So it's been kind of fascinating lately to notice that a handful people I know -- sometimes very well, sometimes very tangentially -- who are my age, are in the news. Mostly for good things, but not always. To wit:

Shaun Donovan, Obama's nominee for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, is married to a woman, Liza Gilbert, who is the sister of my good friend from J-school, Anne Gilbert.

Anne Gilbert, meanwhile, is married to Gordon Goldstein, who just published a very well-reviewed (and by Richard Holbrooke, no less) book, Lessons in Disaster, about McGeorge Bundy. (Those Gilberts are pretty spectacular!)

Next, Jason Grumet, who dated a friend of a friend of mine at college, has been advising Obama about energy issues and was mentioned as a possible Sec'y of Energy. He won't get that job, but he may well be the #2 or, almost certainly, very high up in the dept.

When I was watching a 60 Minutes piece about Barney Frank, I noticed that it was produced by Shachar Bar-on, a brilliant guy who is married to another of my J-school friends, Laura Rabhan, who is, herself, an Emmy-winning documentary producer.

And then comes the Madoff scandal. Bernard Madoff, who was running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, apparently stole a lot of money from the Fairfield Greenwich Group hedge fund. The fund is run by Walter Noel, whose daughter, Alix, graduated from Brown in my class (I knew her very slightly) and whose husband is also a top exec in the firm. I can't imagine she's having a very good week.

My point, however, is not that it's all about me. Instead, it's about how many well-educated people - especially but not exclusively men - have, by age 40 or so, very defined, successful lives because they've focused intensely on a profession or subject. Which can turn out well or not.

I should add here that writing about this isn't a self-criticism; it's reality. I'm plenty focused - though not on public achievements - and there's no reason I won't find new achievements by age 50 or 60.

Back to business

Must blog again, must blog again, must blog again!

It's been difficult to restart Jessica in Tokyo after our vacation. My excuses: Jet lag, sleepiness, editing and work, two energetic and demanding kids who want to be back at school - but aren't. And I've become slightly fixated with the TV show Grey's Anatomy, which I'd never seen until a month ago, when I bought the first season on our Apple TV. (I'm generally a snob about TV and like to tell friends that I ignore network shows until they are about five years old, but I'm baring my momentary weakness here.)

Anyhow, I think my procrastination -- which often attacks in times of transition -- has run its course and I'm ready to get back into our normal Japanese life. Lucinda starts school on Monday. Arno starts school on Wednesday - with a full day on Friday.

Then I'll really make progress on my to-do list this fall: pitching more stories to magazines, helping to plan the Book Fair at Nishimachi, keeping up with the blog, and possibly starting an editing business with a friend. More on all of that later.

For now, welcome back to my blog!

Self magazine!

Finally, a story I wrote for Self magazine is in the February 2008 issue - on newsstands today! Here is the link.

This story, called "I married a gay man," is about a woman who endured marriage to a closeted gay military man for more than a decade. Starting nearly two years ago, I interviewed this woman several times for this "as-told-to" article; she is very outspoken and a wonderful storyteller, and I'm grateful for her patience and her openness with me.

Her story is pretty amazing: She grew up in a Bible-belt family and married her husband when she was 19. A decade later, when she was pregnant with her fourth child, she was told by her obstetrician that she had chlamydia. Her husband had always denied that he was gay despite some evidence to the contrary, but this forced him to confess and forced the entire family to accept a new reality.

This woman was totally willing to go on the record - that is, to have a byline - and even to be photographed, but at the 11th hour, a decision was made to label her "Anonymous" mainly to protect her ex-husband's identity. He is still in the Navy and could be tossed out because of "Don't ask, don't tell."

The genesis of the story was "Brokeback Mountain," which focused on the cowboys but barely touched on their wives' suffering. The Self story, I think, gives a harrowing view of the wives' experience.