Adventures in parenting

I rarely think or say that an entire day sucked, but today really did.

First, there was the lingering problem of Lucinda's gymnastics class. This program, called "I Can Gymnastics," effectively owns gymnastics for expats in central Tokyo. The owner, who is well-known, conducts classes at the three major international schools in our neighborhood, including Nishimachi, and at the Tokyo American Club. His program is the only game in town unless you're willing to travel (without a car, in our case, which would probably take an hour) to another neighborhood for a one-hour class. Also, I think his classes are somewhat repetitive.

But Lucinda likes gymnastics; in Seattle, she went to weekly classes at a program called The Little Gym, and I could see that, for example, learning to walk on the balance beam did build her confidence to try other new things. I'm not planning an Olympic career - after all, she'll probably be about 6 feet tall - but I think gymnastics at this level can be fun.

But the owner of I Can Gymnastics and I do not get along, which is pretty unusual for me. He likes to philosophize with parents about how he, personally, convinces children to try new things in his classes. I'm not saying he's not effective, but in my experience, the activities are more important than any one teacher - and I've said as much.

What happened today is that I tried to get Arno to join Lucinda's class. Arno is old enough, he likes jumping and swinging and somersaulting - and Lucinda really wanted him to go along. He has resisted before, but this time, he took off his shoes and took a few steps toward the other kids... and then ran back and clung to my leg.

The owner, seeing this happen with Arno for the second time in the past few months, promptly lectured me that, in his program, the children must decide to participate - implying that I was a pushy parent. I objected and said that (1) if I waited for my children to want to put on their shoes in the morning, we might never leave the house, and (2) my children often resist new things, but almost always enjoy them if they give it a try - sometimes with a nudge from me.

The owner then said, with some disdain for my cruelty, that Arno "has only been on this earth for three years". And insulted that I would question his expertise, he asked, "How long have you been" a parent? Six years, I said. I tried to explain myself - and then he told me that I was a bad listener. He wondered aloud why I didn't seem to like him. When all I want is a simple program where my children can have fun - and if I can drop them off for an hour on a kid-intensive weekend, so much the better. (A few weeks ago, when Blaine took Lucinda to class and planned to read at Starbucks for an hour, the owner cornered Blaine to lecture him about his philosophy, too.)

The whole interaction was so absurd, and I fumed about this for much of the day.

Then later, after I'd taken the kids to the Tokyo American Club and we'd trekked back on the bus and stopped at a coffee shop, I couldn't find my house key. It was cold outside and very windy, which made me panic a little. I called TAC, but they couldn't find the key. I decided I would take the kids home to look for the key before I called the management company for help.

So where was the key? Sticking out of the lock in my front door, where I'd left it after rushing to go to the damn gym class. On the plus side, that's one benefit to Tokyo: Leave your key in the front door for six hours, and no one breaks into your house.